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Aug. 21st, 2007

Shit Storm of the Century

Okay, This post is getting a disclaimer right now. This is probably one of the sickest ones that I have ever posted, and I just want everyone to be aware of that before they keep on reading.



The other day at work I had to use the restroom. Not just a quick trip either if you catch my drift. So I got up from my desk and went to go do my business. Well when I was done and on my way back to my desk I was paged to return to the call center immediately.

what... the... fuck?

i was pretty pissed off and i would say i was rightfully so. can a man no go to do his business without being paged to get back to his desk. it wasnt like i was trying to read the whole paper or even a section of it. I hate the bathroom at work. I try to make that trip as fast as possible. Dont ask me why, but people feel the need to violate code there. the bathroom at the office is not a place to talk. you go in, you do what you need, and you get the frak out. no time to talk, and you just dont talk to a coworker when their nether-regions are out.

so i went into the room i work in, shut the door, and told my coworker that I apologize for being human and needing to use the bathroom. she said she didnt know where i was, as if i would abandon my desk to go do a couple laps around the parking lot for fun. fraking bitch. now what pisses me off the most about this? well you see, a couple of weeks ago my manager talked to me about being away from my desk. she said that it has been noted that i am up a lot. and you know what, i am. for about one minute per hour. i go and get water. i didnt know it was a federal offense to try and bring a healthy lifestyle into the office. i also cant help that people talk to me. i amnot about to be a prick and tell them i dont have time. i try and make it obvious that i am on the move, but sometimes they dont shut the fuck up. so i walk and talk. not a crime. i use the bathroom about twice a day. the freak lady that i work with doesnt go at all. i am starting to think she must wear a diaper.

so today i went to go use the bathroom again. i told them not to page me when i left the room. the lady said that she might. now i know it was a joke, but i wasnt in the joking mood today. so i thought to myself, what can i do to make it horrible for them in that room tomorrow? well today I went to subway for lunch. i got the footlong meatball sub with every single pepper on it that they serve. i also went for a run this evening. after the run i had the buffalo chicken sandwich at dennys. and then just a half hour ago i had two bowls of raisen bran. i even got a shower tonight so that before work i can eat one, maybe even two more bowls of raisen bran before work. I hope I have to get up and go every hour. and I really dont care how embarassed I am. in fact, i wont be embarassed, i will be proud of the fact that my colon is going to be getting an intense work out. I want to see if they will actually approach me about the frequency of my bathroom usage. if so, i will have no problem telling them that they do not want the details of my trips, unless they want to hear some disgusting facts.

i hate my job. it provides some financial stability in my life right now, and it is going to have to for now until i hear back from somewhere else. i have a few applications out right now. lets hope one of them bites and calls me back. (btw, i dont have a regular phone, just a track phone for interviews to call me, that is why i hvent given it out)

work is a battle right now. and i will gladly take it to this level of fighting.

Aug. 20th, 2007

The Wedding

I just have one thing to say, this weekend was amazing.

Aug. 7th, 2007

The good doctor...

I made contact with a famous cylon today. This model goes by the name of ALICE.

It seems that she does not want to share some information.

I will have more on this at a later date.

Aug. 6th, 2007

(no subject)

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?signup=1&testid=610156788038991331&test_key=NzI4ODgxODE=&answers=0:0:0:0:0:2:2:1:0:0:1:0:0:0:1:0:2:0:1:0:3:0:0:0:0:0:1:1:1:1:0:0

"I say, old bean...

have you seen my hat?"

at first when i got this message on aim, i expected the sender to be one of my friends. someone with a name i didnt know about, or perhaps a new friend of mine that i do not have the name of yet. never did i suspect FOUL PLAY.

yes my friends, it would seem that the message was one sent by a cylon (for all readers out there, i will now be refering to all robot/artificial intelligence threats as cylons). i was perplex when i got the message. I know some people that would speak in such a manner, calling me old bean trying to be fun and playful.

it seems that the cylon threat grows each day.

This is all from a Cylon that uses AIM to instigate these sort of interations. The intended purpose behind the bot is to make two people talk to one another without realizing what is going on. it seems like a simple gag at first but it should be met with the strictist of action. who is to say that this is not just another way for the cylons to guage human behavior? Think about it, they are seeing what initial reactions are like. what does it take for a person to not be hostile when encountering something random online? well if it seems like a person is on the other end of the line, we are likely to be guarded, but not hostile. so slowly they are learning what it takes to say hello and not catch a bullet in the frakin face.

I dont know who does get to see this. For all i know, the cylons are reading this and i am just playing a small part in their effort to study humanity so they can replace it one day with their own perverted idea of what it is to be human.

here is a link listing all the known names of this particular model of cylon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheGreatHatsby

Aug. 4th, 2007

Last minute change in plans...

I made an executive decision today, and I am not going to be moving into the place that I thought I was. I didnt sign what I needed to in order to be tied to the place, so with that I am going to a different one that is cheaper and will be better for me.

I hated doing it the way i did, but i need to look out for me first right now, and then worry about everyone else later.

Aug. 3rd, 2007

If you only ... you would have better luck with girls.

yeah, so i have been told some stuff lately by people i know about what i could do to improve my odds out there in the dating world. well, i got one thing to say to the "advice" given. frak off.

for some reason, it is said that if i were to cut my hair, i would do better. if i did not part my hair, i would do better. you know, if i were to dress a bit more like a frat boy, etc.

i refuse to take part in such nonsense.

you know what, i like my hair parted. i like the length. and i dont want to look like a frat boy, i want to look like me, and i am completely comfortable and confident in that. besides, if hair is what would make or break my chances with a girl, would i really want to be with her to begin with? i am not about to change my clothing, hair, or anything else just to have better luck with meeting girls.

if you are the kind of girl that decides if she is going to talk to a guy or not because of the way he combs his hair, then frak you, frak your mom, and frak the high horse you rode in on. you're shallow and if you think that people need to change themselves in order to be attractive, then i hope you live your entire life alone. no one should ever have to change a part of themselves, unless they want to make that change because they are the ones desiring it.

i hate people that have a standard that we have to conform to in order to pick someone up. of course you can usually find that these assholes have meaningless lives to begin with, so to them some sort of meaning to it they make themselves an authority on what is acceptable and what is not. and they absolutely hate the people that dont need their seal of approval. why? because the completley invalidate the notion of self importance and power that these fools get drunk on.

Jul. 31st, 2007

Harry Potter

I finished the last book tonight.

I enjoyed it a great deal, but man, I think that some revisions could have been done in the end. if JK Rowling could do magic, and had a spell that was her signature move, it would be Deus Ex Machina!

Enough of that though. I really liked the book and am glad that the story has come to an end.

Jul. 28th, 2007

About Last Night...

last night was a damn good time. it was the going away party for my friend kelli and her husband jeremy. they are moving to israel and i wish the both the best of luck with it. I think they are going to do fine. I made a couple of new friends when i was out last night. most of the crew was from the newsroom, so it was good to get to know those guys. and one of the managers was even out with us. it was good to see people from different departments getting along. The one funny thing was that almost everyone that was at the bar with us has been living here for a while, and still dont know downtown for shit. so when we left to go on more adventuring i ended up leading the crew. we all talked about it at the end of the night and want to try and go out a bit more. i felt alive and vibrant and just amazing the whole night. I have been making some real improvements for myself lately, and i dont want to stop.

Jul. 22nd, 2007

The Wedding

Well my friend Heb got married this weekend. It was a pretty good time. I got to see my friend from my home town, and that was a pretty good time. It is a different sort of time than when i am with my college friends, but it is still great. i am not sure how to describe it. i am not sure right now what the difference is, perhaps it is only that we share different memories. i do not know. but it is all good. my one friend chad was there. chad and i used to be very close friends. brothers almost one would say. but then he got married and things changed a lot. he stopped hanging out. he stopped wanting to have fun. instead every single decision was no longer his to make, and became a decision that needed a stamp of approval in order to happen. we hung out less frequently, and then we stopped talking altogether. now i know i can be a demanding friend, and i can become resentful when one of my friends dates someone, but that is only when they start to completely blow everyone else off just to invest every single waking moment of their existance into another person and act as if they dont know the rest of the world exists. thats fine and dandy, you want to do that, you can. but when you try to live your entire life like that, you are going to have issues at one point or another.

now me and his wife used to work together, and we didnt get along. why? well i was a manager at the time, and to be honest, she was pretty useless. she whined about everything she had to do, when it was all stuff in her job description. so one night, she decided to quit while working with me. honestly, i didnt mind. in a sense i was already working by myself for the night, so it didnt make too much of a difference. the funny part of the story is that she had only been there for a night, and it was the night the store set a record for the amount of revenue we generated (the highest we did since the opening day, by a few thousand) so anyways, a couple of years after that, she started to date my friend chad. they got engaged, then they got married, and he disappeared.

now before they ever got married, back when they were dating, before they were even engaged, i made it a point to apologize to her for being a dick as a manager, and told her that i had no problem with her as a person at all. she was fine with it and we got along. well yesterday, for whatever reason, she decides that she wants to be upset with me. and at one point in the evening comes out and says that she is made because i never apologized for being a dick 5 YEARS AGO. not week, or months, of even a year, but 5 frakin years later, she holds this grudge. i was pissed off, really really pissed off, and when i get that mad, i really dont hold back on what it is that i say. well, everyone should be somewhat impressed with me right now, because i was still nice to her during all of this crap. i informed her, in a very non-combative way, that i did apologize to her, one more than one occasion. she said that i never did anything of the sort, to which my friend, her husband that is, chimed in and told her that i actually have, more than once.

well that was it for her. after that she started to feel sick, and she was complaining that she was tired. i asked them what they were doing, and was chimed in that they had to get groceries that night. i was like, hey, we never get to see each other ever. so why not keep hanging out and just get the groceries another day?

i know that people have their own lives, but come on, it was the first my old friend and I had been able to hang out at all, and we were having fun. we were talking about all the old stuff we used to do, and just chatting about the days past. she got huffy, moved another seat away from chad and said "i am going to sit over here since you guys are just talking about inside jokes"

i wanted to punch her in the throat, and when she said she was tired, i was hoping she that she had the bubonib plague. toward the end of the night, chad invited me to go see them in their town. i told him i would. by the end of the night i decided against it. i couldnt stand to be around that bitch he calls a wife for one more second. and i know that she would just play stupid about all of it. she is an idiot, and she is very immature. her arguements are about as strong as a house of cards.

it was frustrating. i miss my friend, but he has made his choice. i should get going now though. time to make some dinner.

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